There have been at least two times that I can think of in my journey that the scheduled procedures that I had to go through seem to have been managing my life rather than the other way around. Things just occur sometimes and it seems that we have no control of our lives. Sometimes that really frustrates me and I tend to push back against it. Then I have to remember that my doctors are trying to keep me alive.
The first time procedures seemed to control my life was when I had just started the multiple myeloma treatments. The procedures started by toughening my bones by taking promidrinate on a frequent basis. The doctors also wanted to arrest the cancer so they started radiation treatments at the same time. The radiation was extensive and I seemed to be going twice a week or more. At the time I was sick enough that that I really did not notice the schedule.
The other time that I am feeling the press of scheduled procedures on my life is now. The difference is that I feel well and am quite active even holding down a part-time job. The cancer is gone, but I am dealing with MDS which suppresses my ability to produce enough blood cells. When the MDS is at its worst, I need frequent transfusions which at the moment is twice a week. I also take a chemotherapy drug named Vidaza that works on at correcting my bone marrow. Those procedures occur seven times a month. Sometimes I feel like my procedures are taking over.
It’s really easy to get annoyed and frustrated. It is really easy to ask what the Lord is doing in this situation. It’s even pretty easy to be fearful about what is going to happen as the procedures get closer and closer together. Those are all of the things that go through my mind when I am thinking in my own power and start to feel pity for myself.
Then I have to stop and realize whose I am. I have to realize that He is in control and that He has a plan. I know that He is giving me today and that I am going to try to enjoy it and the people around me as much as I can. I just pray for another day like this one. Thank you Lord for what You have done so far and for what You will do in the future.
Cancer Faith and You 
Yes…. When I think that I could go through the same experience, but without the benefit of the Lord’s life and presence, I realize that my blessing has more to do with who God is than with what I’m going through….
Pat,
Your point is exactly what is important to remaining happy in life regardless of what we are going through. I think that most people who are pushed to the fringes of a normal life by disease or addictions or whatever face the realization you speak of daily. Most days we recognize that the Lord is our keeper, but on occasional days, as part of the human condition, we get scared and have to consciously reset our thinking.
Marv